Since I live at home still and my mum works from home my only options are:

Lose 10 lbs and maintain for the rest of the month then lose another 10 etc

OR

Lose weight slowly over a long period of time

I'd prefer my first option as the changes can be seen more that way, although there is a chance i'll binge and ruin all my good work for that month

what do you think?

The boy is in Amsterdam celebrating his roommates 21st and I just want to hug him. I don't even know if I can call him my boyfriend, but I don't really want to have that chat.

I feel like ranting here, but I'm too tired and cant be bothered.
Need to lose weight. Blah blah blah. This week I found out I might have to stay at school an extra year. FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

If I could just skip this year and go straight to uni, I totally would. I just don't want to be bothered with college.

I whinge so fucking much. lol

sorry.
Asha

A/S Rwaults tomorrow. I'm freaking out because I'm not freaking out about them. Weird right.....this time last year (right before GCSE's) I was hyperventilating and shit. This year, I dunno...less bothered. I feel I should care more, But, I don't.

FUCK, I wish I cared more.
x

My online life has been going down hill for a while now. Except twitter ofcourse. I've been out everyday at 7am and not returning until at least 10pm. So this is me calming down. I've been told I'm too busy, so everything blog related is going to be higher on my agenda. Except a lot of my friends don't get out of school till the end of next month, and the ones that do go to my school, one is in Chester, I think that's kinda near Manchester, which seeing as I live in London is oh so far away. I miss him man. James, leave your boyfriend and COME HOME. Another hangs out with people I would usually keep company with. Another really is the biggest looser I've ever met, but she makes us laugh, and anyone else, I couldn't care less about.

My favourite boutique just off Brick Lane closed down. Takes the piss, I made friends with the owner, he was just about to give me a job. How sucky is that.

I went back to college to talk to my tutor.. People have seemed to up their fashion game (finally), seeing as it's the holidays now, it's a bit late, but better late than ever.(BNTL reference, check that blog out)

I'm off to play some super nintendo. It's cool, I'm allowed to be a geek, I just did something amazingly cool. I just bought a Steve J and Yoni P multi collared Jacket. So within a few days I will have that. It's too pretty for words.

I guess all the time I've had off from this, has really filled my brain up of crap, and now I give it to you.

Asha. X

Mum called me a screw up. I can understand why she called Ashley one. He does nothing. I'm at college. I'm looking for a job. He does nothing. Yet I'm the screw up. What's worse is I went to college today. She sat in bed and did nothing. She got the sack and I'm the fucking screw up. She's got some fucking nerve. Fuck Me.

I'm not eating for a week. Then she can see how screwed up I really am.

I knew it was a terrible idea, I've been asked to join Facebook about 50 billion times, and each time I have said no, with good reason apparently.


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YOU'RE ALL FUCKED hahahaha!
now all those pics with you in very little are theirs to keep

I on the other hand am fine.

It's weird, I'm generally feeling a sort of numbness. Like there is something missing. I don't really know what to do about it.

Guys keep coming up to me and their chat up lines seem to go like this:

Guy- "Hi"
Me- "Hi?"
Guy- "How old are you?"
Me- "Excuse me?"
I'm like for fuck sake thats not how you talk to girls
Twice this has happened to me this week.
It's getting quite tedious. I'm fed up with guys talking to me like they're adults and I'm a lost child. It's as if their next line should be "Where is your mummy"
Guys need to either use really cheesy chat up lines that'll make me laugh or not use them at all. Its not even a line, they make it seem like it's just a general wondering and they'll just on their merry way.

Valentines was shitter than usual. I don't know...the emptiness thing I was talking about didn't feel like it should be filled by love or anything, I don't personally think I want or need a boyfriend at the moment, I'm still sorting myself out with my own personal issues. I'm content in that area at the moment, but who knows where the future will lead, that special guy could be around the metaphorical corner.

Went out with people from college this week. Two of them got really drunk and I worked out why the other wasn't drinking at all - She's straight edge.(She couldn't believe I knew what that meant, as if I was a thick-shit or something.) Now I have a few edge friends, but the way she was going on about it and the things she was saying, I didn't agree with, she wants to be edge, but doesn't believe she is because she hasn't done it for long enough. If you're committed to something, you're committed. That's it. Her view of edge people seem very distorted, she only seems to know of extremist edge people. I can't even say she knows any because she says the only one she knows lives in Australia and she speaks to her on Youtube.(I have nothing against Youtube/Youtubers, I'm part of the UK youtube thing, I go to gatherings and interact with other Youtubers) She doesn't seem to want to be edge anyway. I've known her around six months, she talks about the fact that she doesn't drink EVERYDAY, yet seems to try to hide the fact that she is straight edge. She won't even tell her brother incase he thinks she's in a cult. She can't actually believe that surely. There is more to this issue, but I'm getting bored of the subject so I'll continue writing about it another time.

I was supposed to posting more pictures in these blogs, but I'm feeling lazy today and can't be bothered, but I swear I will start doing so. You can hold me to that.

Done, for now.
x

Skins has started, which I'm kinda ambivalent about. I'm not sure whether it's a good thing or not. I miss the old cast dearly. The first episode of series 3 I enjoyed, the second - not so much: it seemed way too forced and as if everyone was trying to hard; and when you've waited six months(+) for a show to come back it either needs to come back slowly or come in with a huge bang (like series 2) and this series did neither. It metaphorically jogged back in, and that wasn't really good enough for me.

Babycakes Party. I went on about it for long enough. It came. It was good. But then it went. I expected more from Paul Griffiths. He wasn't really around, which disappointed me, seeing as it was his party. He did get very very drunk though - in true Paul Griffiths style. Saw some good chiptune acts which is always fun. I don't think I was intoxicated enough to enjoy it as much as I should of done. But the little anti-Babycakes protest before we got in was hilarious. Some random weirdos with banners of Paul's head crossed out and water guns(wtf?) came from nowhere and the scene kids got angry. You do not want to mess with the scene kids, especially when it involves wet, limp hair that they probably spent hours on (and amounts of hairspray that could melt polar ice caps the size of hawaii). The scene kids ended up burning the weirdos banners and one even threw a bottle of piss (yes piss) at them. By the way there were around 500 Babycakes fans and 7 of the other guys. Silly really...

I got down to my GW for February this is just my brain splurging. If you're reading this and don't know what I mean never mind, it's probably easier that way.

It's snowing right now, like properly snowing, not the usual crap we get in London. I'm getting sick though. My kittens are outside.



Goodness that was long. My brain seems more free. I'ts good to rant a little.
Done.

Sorry to dissapoint but my life has been quite dull recently. Babycakes party on Saturday, so i'll do another blog then.
Anyone going, tell me and i'll say hello.
I'm talkint about a piss up in hyde park afterwards, but Paul Griffiths says it'll finish prett late,so i don't know if it'll happen

Like in Scrubs when JD's imaginary opera singer does it for like two minutes straight.

I woke up tbis morning and decided I needed to do something active, so i went...rollerblading in the park.(here it comes)
..........

MIIISSSSTAAAAAAKKKEEEE

Now I haven't done any proper excerise since my PE gcse, yet I thought to myself "how hard can it be?" Oh, and I haven't used rollerblades since i was about 10.

It was the most agonizing thing I've done in ages.

I now have red marks on one leg where the stupid thing was rubbing, and a massive bruise on the other... FUN.
Never again. Ever. (Lies)

On the plus side I didn't fall over, not once. I probably looked
like an absolute twat, but I did not fall over, and I'm well proud. I'm probably going to be in bed for the next two days recovering, but I've done it now.

the past two weeks have been so strange. Christmas and New year was generally ok, I'm back at college and facing exams. I'm lucky though, I only have one, although my english teacher's making revision for my psychology a bitch and has giving us coursework.


On a lighter note, yesterday was my mum's birthday,we went out blah blah

It's like 7am. I've been up for an hour. I'm going to get ready for college now and do some revision.

I need to update this on a REGULAR basis.


btw, this is being done from my NEW phone, so if there are mistakes, thats why

I've been depriving my blog recently.

I finally got my computer back, and I'm so happy. I missed my music most of all.

I kinda feel my life is amazingly boring, kinda sucks to be quite honest.

I'd much rather be traveling the world, being an intern for some amazing photographer, but that's not happening any time soon, so I'd better get on with reality.

Went to my first wedding yesterday. It was nice. My mum's friend's wedding. Their son is amazingly beautiful. My kind of beautiful. He's like 21 so there's no chance for me, but we got on quite well, so that's cool, and I got a kiss, so I'm happy. OMG I'm such a fool.

Anyway I found another band. I'm not really a TV person but i have been watching some show on channel 4 about unsigned bands( cant remember it's actual name but oh well) it's really good. I have a soft spot for unsigned bands, and I've found(more like it was shoved in my face) another band that I love called "The Scarlot Harlots" They are truly amazing. It's a bit indescribable, but amazing. The lead singer can DANCE. He has a Yannis from the  Foals meets Saul from The Metros. Wow that was a pretty good interpretation of what there music sounds like. Anyway! Seriously amazing band. They all look great. Cool!

I wore a really pretty dress to that wedding, I'll post a pic another time.

Done!

Yes! I know I've posted two blogs in two days. Yes! I said I was going to only post once a week so my blogs are full of rubbishy information that no one reads, but I'm too excited and I don't care what you (if there is anyone actually there) think of me so HA!

Not only am in love with French films, I am also in love with unsigned bands/acts new ones that I'm loving at the moment:

• Tommy Reilly - scottish wonder - i actually think I'm in love with his voice

• Cosmo Jarvis - still- he just makes me smile                                                                                                                                                                                     
• Thoughtless Jolly - cant remember his real name but thats what he goes by - ages ago I found his cover of Cupid's Chokehold (like two computers ago - either shows how long I've known of the song, or how quickly I go through computers) absolute love - his music is so soothing.

• Jose Vanders - Don't pronounce it hosay, it really ticks her off - an amazing pianist, plus she gave me badges and wrote on a paper hat (you know the kind when you're like 8 and go to a class mates party) for me - well that was like over a year ago but I still have it, so there you go.
• Loads more - I'll save them for another time

I have quite a lot to say today, so I'd better get on with it

I have another set of assessments for college this week. Psychology is tomorrow  I'm going to fail!!
Then maths and English Literature - don't know which way around, screwed for english as I haven't read the book 

Yesterday I found out I'm taking somme pictures for my Mum's friends wedding next weekend. Mum knew a while ago and didn't boter to tell me. What is wrong with her? - She never tells me and what's going on in my own life- she just hides things from me and expects me to know about them.   

Goodness that was a hefty post.

*Laughs to self*

You probably wont get another for a month, now that I've done this.

Well. I say a bad day, it started off well, i went shopping with my mum and we bought a wedding dress for her friend.

It got bad around half four - 5ish   not really going to go into that but... yeah..rubbish!



Last night I watched another of my favourite movies "In America"  about an Irish family moving to New York. The apartment is so amazing, there supposed to be broke and they have this beautiful, old skool, brickwork showing, bath in the middle of the living room thing going on. I swear it's my dream apartment. I'd stay there all day taking pictures of my imaginary room mate. God I've got my whole life planned out, I'm such a loser. I'm so glad people dont read this.


Can't find camera lead thingy and i think I'm going to cry.

I need sleep, but I'm in a cleaning mood.

Done.

are my passion at the moment, Amelie is one of my favourite movies anyway

and last night at about 2 am i started warching and movie called "Le temps qui Reste" (I hope thats right) or otherwise known as "Time To Leave"
I'm so buying it on dvd 

its well sad and it has a bit of gay action in it as well.

stayed up til half 4. then came and researched it til about 5

stupid college "forgot" to inform me lessons were cancelled so i went all the way there (takes about an hour and a 1/2)

so that pissed me off quite a bit.

mum thinks i have an eating disorder, she hasnt actually asked, but she keeps asking what ive eaten and tries to make me eat

im like Im not hungry i just ate, but she doesnt believe me
oh well that'll be the end of my little rant

peace
x

College is going well. So I'm happy Everything seems settled down, kinda shaken out and normal again, not as they were, just normal.
Friends that i've made: Sam and Emily: Amazingly weird but hilarious  they kinda oppose me but i think i keep them sane and they keep me strange. It works.

I'm finally going to the babycakes party




I'm well excited  can't wait, i'll finally meet Paul. I doubt I'll be all fan girl and be all screamy. I'm not into that shit. I'll probs wear a babycakes top but not be like some of the Manchester scene kids that follow him around. My mind just doesn't work that way.


Cosmo Jarvis (erm..possibly the greatest name in the world) put some new songs on his myspace.  I love them. I first heard of him at the Gym Class Heroes gig i went to two months ago. He's so amazing, and not even signed. I dont know how GCH's manager found him if he wasn't singed, but im glad he did.  ANYWAY His new songs... awesome.

I still haven't plucked up enough courage  to talk to the guy from the Buzz Reflectors

But I'm definitely going to the next time I see him.( He goes to my college) I just don't care, I think he knows he's seen me before, we're just too shy to talk to eachother. I WILL talk to him this month.

Mum got home from work at 9:30 pm and i need to charge the laptop.

Im done for now
Asha. X

4th November '08


There's so many things I didn't know.(Not in general obviously.) Like only this morning when the mail came did I find out my OWN mother is a Doctor. Not like an actual doctor, ( coz I know she's a lawyer) but like when you go to university and become a doctor that way. ( I obviously have no idea how it works) But seriously, I went 16 and a half years without knowing this. It's a crazy, crazy world...


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


5th November '08

Happy Guy Fawkes night./The day Obama becomes president (technically in the UK)
All day i've been singing "please to remember the 5th of November, gunpowder, treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot." Pissed Sabrina off a lot as we we're watching "Queer as Folk" and I was humming.
I was meant to go to see a fireworks display with my mum, but it got cancelled and by the time I had got back from Sabrina's, she had already gone to see her sister. So i fell asleep, i was only meant to have like a one hour nap at around 20:45, ended up falling asleep 'til 5:30am.






----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I didnt know where my mum was so I checked in her room. She was half asleep, but still managed to give me a lecture on going to college, even though I go in EVERYDAY. So I left and did some homework. Although i didn't get very far as I began projectile vomiting. It wasn't fun, mum was getting ready for work and the kittens were really annoying me, so much so that I started to cry, not really because they were annoying me that much, but because I was ill and I hate being ill. Mum told me to get into bed and she brought me up some warm ribena, left for work and that was that. So I've been in bed all day, which is okay for some, but to me it's the most frustrating thing in the world.  I want to be out, preferably taking some pictures. Mum said she didn't really want to be at work today so she might  bunk off and come home to "look after me."
Which kinda takes me upto now. Not  really done much apart from sit in bed and surf the internet. Looked for a photography courses for January, but im getting a bit bored of myself now. 

Atleast I've got this blog out of the way, I've been meaning to do it for three days


DONE.
x

Start of hectic lifestyle:
20th October: I went to go see Los Campesinos at The Electric Ballroom in Camden.
23rd October: I'm in an audience for  TV show called "Sound" and Fall Out Boy are playing.
24th October: Kids in Glass Houses at the Astoria
27th October: <s>Bloc Party are doing an instore gig at HMV</s>
28th October: <s>One Night Only also at The Astoria</s>
30th October: <s>Some unsigned bands that I know (Understated, Buzz Reflectors) are doing a gig near where I live.</s>
31st October: <s>Halloween Parties and such</s>
4th November: <s>Enter Shikari at The Astoria 2</s>
8th November: <s>Russel Howard at Hammersmith Apollo</s>


These are all around college time and the rest of my social life.
I'll do my best to get some pictures to upload here.
Should be lots of fun & very tiring.